Approaching a female is a very risky business for a male spider.
He is much smaller then she is and cannot very well defend himself against her.
She may mistake him for a prey animal and kill him before he can so much as touch her. Spiders have evolved two main ways of placating females during courtship: visual signals and telegraphic signals.
Visual signals are used by hunting spiders, spiders that do not spin webs, and are at their epitome in the little jumping spiders, which have very large eyes and apparently considerable visual acuity.
The males are very conspicuous in appearance and movement, so as to better let the female know that they are a potential mate and not a meal.
A male jumping spider is likely to be gaudier than the female, to have colorful, swollen pedipalps, to have his face adorned with tufts of hair, and to have long front legs that are gaudily ornamented with spots of bright color, spines, and fringes of colored hair.
The male approaches a female in a ritualized dance, moving forward a step at a time with his front legs raised as he jerks his body and waves his pedipalps. If she is receptive, she will let the male crawl on her body, otherwise, she signals rejection by jerking her body up and down.
Male web-spinning spiders must cross the female’s web to mate with her. This puts them in great danger.
When a female feels her web twitch, she rushes across it, hurls herself on the entrapped prey, and quickly injects it with venom before it can break away.
She could easily mistake an approaching male for a meal.
Consequently, a male forewarns the female of his presence by plucking a strand of her web in a code that she will innately recognize. He moves towards her cautiously and will soothingly stroke her body.
Nevertheless, if the male does not hurry away after inseminating the female, he is likely to be eaten.
A particular wolf spider from Europe, Pisaura, placates the female in an altogether different way than do jumping spiders and web spinners.
Before looking for a female, he catches a fly or some other insect, and instead of eating it, wraps it in silk. When he finds a female, he offers her this “sac lunch.”
If she accepts it, he inseminates her as she eats.